(Today I embraced my shying sponteneity and bought a plane ticket to somewhere warm to spend time with people I admire. And I’m admitting that I admire them. Yeehaw!)

In an effort to keep my blog from turning into one of those Today I Did This, Tomorrow I Will Eat Yogurt, Next Week I Will Go Grocery Shopping yaaaaawn… let’s spice it up.

We’re still looking for a ceremony location for the wedding. We’ve given ourselves til the end of next week to decide. The situation that’s troubling me is not the lack of location, it’s the lack of invitations. I’m sooo antsy to start my DIY invites, but I can’t ask the designer to whip up a design before I have all the info! But the paper I bought for the invitations makes me sorta giddy. I have to order more, too. DARN. 🙂

We’re meeting with a florist and a cake lady on Monday. I guess that means we have to figure out what we want in terms of flowers and cake. Haha. We’ve been pretty chill about the whole wedding planning ordeal. It’s just one day in a series of thousands of days. It will be special but it won’t be the most special in the grand scheme. I find it more than a little obnoxious to obsess over your wedding, meticulously planning every single minute detail down to the garnish on the hors d’oeuvres. Get over it and let it unfold. (I will never ever ever be able to spell the word hor d’oeuvres on the first try.)

Okay fine. Offbeat Bride’s mantra is “Your wedding is not a contest.” But, fuck it, mine feels awesome. And YES I JUDGE YOU for your matching pink sucky bridesmaid dresses and your bridezilla attacks over a misplaced red rose. There. I said it. I feel much better now.

I can’t wait to put together gifts for my wedding entourage. (We’re too cool to call them a wedding party.) I found some stuff this weekend that made me squeeee with cuteness. I can’t say what it is because some of my entourage read my blog but just know that it’s going to be SUPER CUTE. (Here’s a hint – I found it at Swoozies!)

Do normal people recognize and accept that they probably won’t have sex on their wedding night? I think it’s going to keep us from letting ourselves down when the champagne kicks in and our feet are sore and cuddles sound better than… other things. No expectations = no disappointments, right? That’s what a honeymoon is for.

Speaking of honeymoon… so there’s this place in Barbados that I am LUSTING after. I don’t have my heart set on it (much) but it looks a-ma-zing. We’re still considering Hawaii and the Bahamas but you know, Barbados sounds awesome… because it’s freaking BARBADOS. Truth be told, anywhere with a fruity drink, a soft bed, and a beach will make me feel like I’ve wandered into paradise. But Barbados would be a cool stamp on my passport.

Can we just pause and take a moment to recognize how incredibly lucky I am to have my boy? He’s currently watching movie trailers online and says to me: “Do you recognize that voice?” “No…” “It’s Jim!” (from The Office.) He lets me gush over certain TV hotties. I may or may not have grabbed my breasticles when he said that. (Hellooooo TMI. Welcome to our relationship.)  On top of that, he doesn’t bat an eye when I decide to take an impromptu trip with some fab ladies. He doesn’t act annoyed when I hop on Twitter instead of tending to the dinner I started (even though I know he’s TOTALLY annoyed). And he listens to me when we’re in bed and his eyes are droopy and I go into a long diatribe about how I do this soul searching and how I realize I need to treat him better blah blah blah psychobabble karma Dr. Phil/Deepak Chopra or whatever-his-face-is kinda stuff.

I’m just so thankful that I’ve ended up with exactly who I imagined I’d end up with. And he has blue eyes to boot!

In an Angela-esque move, I shall end with this:  May you find the one you deserve and never, ever settle.

I had an adventurous day. I got up ridiculously early in order to get to work 50+ miles south of where I live. After a trip to Starbucks, that’s no big deal. After our little event down there, I decided I wanted to go to an adorable little stationery place in Oak Park to pick up wedding invitation supplies! (Miss Melissa sent me the website months ago and I’ve been obsessed since.) Here’s the thing… the last time I was in Oak Park was when I had surgery at Shriners Children’s Hospital. And for most of my Oak Park visit, I was under the influence of Vicadin and Valium. I don’t quite remember it. Being a suburbanite, I figured it was just another suburb. Oh no, my pretties, Oak Park is pretty much Chicago. As many of you know, driving in congested areas like Chicago is NOT my thing. I’m okay with my 40-something mile commute on an open freeway. I’m NOT okay with bumper to bumper, people getting out of their cars to yell at other drivers, parallel parking, watch out for pedestrians! kind of driving. No thank you. But, despite being caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella in my business attire, I made it in and out alive AND I bought the base cards and RSVP cards for our invitations!

I came home, fell asleep on the couch while watching a marathon of a crazy UFO show on the History Channel, dreamed about UFOs, woke up to a UFO investigation in the area of my office, freaked out, and am now contemplating raiding my freezer for ice cream.

So yes, today was adventurous. But it made me realize some things. (Here come more bullet points but not quite as sucky as last time.)

  • My new car is awesome. I drove it 150 miles today and it didn’t complain once. Also, it gets AWESOME gas mileage.
  • That said, my car looks like it belongs to a Real! Professional! today.  I have so much work stuff thrown around… file folders, newspapers, Google map directions, legal pads, business cards, a big ol’ poster, and my leatherbound notebook. Also? Multiple empty coffee cups tossed into the backseat.
  • I’m so ready for spring. Had I not been wearing a dress and a new coat today, I wouldn’t have hated getting caught outside in a thunderstorm with my car parked six blocks away. It felt so essentially springish.
  • Our wedding invitations are going to be unique. Each one will be a different combination of colors. I’m pretty much super excited about them! Now we just have to decide on a ceremony location so I can get started on them!
  • I am truly a suburbanite at heart. I thought Oak Park, though charming, was frantic. And the area around it? Not so pretty. Of course I’d love to live amongst cute hipster shops and Frank Lloyd Wright architecture. Of course I’d like to be a quick El ride away from downtown. Of course I’d love to live close enough to Shriners Children’s Hospital that I could walk over and volunteer. Of course I miss the smell of the big city and the sound of traffic and obnoxious rose vendors (or is that just in Rome?). But the pace is just not my bag. I felt stressed, on edge, and frantic. Once I got back into the suburbs, it was a breath of fresh air. Here we have big box stores next to the cute specialty stores. Yes, we have to drive everywhere but that’s okay because the roads aren’t bumper-to-bumper. And, if I didn’t want to take the Metra into the city, I could always drive to O’Hare and hop the blue line in. I’ve always been kinda sad that the boy and I didn’t end up in a fun young neighborhood in the city… but I’m so happy where we are… a comfortable apartment, a long but mostly traffic-less commute, a quiet neighborhood, and all the conveniences of a shopping Mecca. I think it’s where we’re supposed to be. We’re old souls so it works for us.
  • That was a loooong bullet point.

What’s your latest adventure?

Perks to my job? Presidents Day off. *sigh*

I spent my morning enjoying the copious shopping possibilities in the area. Filene’s Basement, Old Navy, it was a good day. I decided, since I was alone and since I had a lot of spare time on my hands and since it was a nice day and I didn’t want to go home just yet… let’s stop here at this bridal shop.

Yes, I have my wedding dress. Yes, our wedding party is wearing whatever they want. No, I’ve never set foot in a bridal shop before. WHATEVER, I was going for INSPIRATION. I was going to give The Traditional White Wedding Industry another chance.

Jesus, I never should have stopped.

I walked in and was greeted by a receptionist. What! Where are the pretty dresses? Where are the invitation samples? Where are the GARTERS?! Garters, people, I wanted to look at sexy garters!

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I just had some time and thought I’d wander.” (Uh, leave me alone, biddy.)
“Is there anything you’re looking for?”

“Not particularly. I’m getting married this summer and just wanted some inspiration.” (Can you please stop looking at me like I’m scum?)

“You have to have an appointment with a consultant to look around.”

“Oh. Well then. That’s alright.” (Bitch.)

Really? Is this how all bridal shops work? Do you have to have an appointment at EVERY store with a consultant who is going to push you into buying something frilly and ugly so they get the commission? Reallllly?

You ladies who did or are doing it by the book? More power to you. I just can’t have The Greatest Day of My Life dictated to me by someone who THINKS she knows what I want but has never met me. Why should I surrender my wedding to a consultant? Did she see me in stage makeup in high school? Did she watch me grow out of my awkward stage and into my activist stage? Was she there when I won the women’s studies award or when I drove in a Presidential motorcade? Has she set foot in my apartment? Then how can a CONSULTANT have ANY idea who I am, who we are as a couple, and how our wedding can reflect that? Instead, she talks senseless brides-to-be into weddings that aren’t THEM, but instead fit into a tiny wedding box, complete with a satin bow and a new set of china.

Listen, biddy, I already have china. And a Kitchen Aid mixer. And a freaking awesome dress with a purple petticoat. I don’t need a CONSULTANT.

I don’t understand the wedding industry. I tried, I really did. I don’t understand why couples adhere so blindly to tradition…. When did “because that’s how it’s done” become a good answer for “Why?” And why is it so hard for some to see outside the box or to watch someone else break the mold?

My dad asked me if he could walk me down the aisle. I told him No and by the look on his face, you would’ve thought I had just punched a puppy. Once I explained that the tradition symbolizes the transfer of property no longer owned by the father but now by the husband and how I don’t want to be treated as FREAKING PROPERTY, my stepmom just said, “I guess we don’t really think about traditions.” No shit, Sherlock. I will be walking arm-in-arm with my boy down the aisle… if there’s even an aisle. Because I’m a human being, not something to be bought and sold. Simple as that.

So that’s my rant about the wedding industry. Bottom line: If it’s a day ABOUT the two of you, why muck it up with tradition? Are they YOUR traditions? Let the day REFLECT the two of you. Sure the skeleton of the wedding will be traditional — invitations, ceremony, reception, cake, music, booze — but the details and the way it’s all done will be uniquely US.

Now I’ll step off my high horse and repeat: Remember, your wedding is not a contest, your wedding is not a contest. Ommm….