This week began as a stressful one. My coworkers and I were convinced the world would end by Friday, just by the way the week had been panning out. But the week is ending on such a high note that I truly feel like I’m making a difference in the world.

I know I haven’t been around the blogosphere lately, but truth be told, I’m enjoying my life and I’m doing my darnedest to make sure it’s fulfilling. Blogging has something to do with stages. I started the blog because I wanted to write. Now that I write all day as a job, I maintain my blog and blogger relationships because I cherish the friendships I’ve made and I’ve learned to network through them. I write in my blog to express myself these days, to document struggles and to reach out for encouragement. Today, I want to encourage you.

It’s the little things you do that make a difference. I really saw this pan out this week. Someone wrote us a letter yesterday. All she wanted was to let our boss know the struggles of her demographic when it comes to finding work. (Please forgive the vagueness – I have to be vague! Email me if you want the full warm fuzzy story.) It just so happens we’re hiring someone in her demographic to help others in her demographic. I tracked down her phone number, passed it along to a higher up, and we scheduled an interview for today… and she was hired on the spot. I made a difference in someone’s life. I feel so fulfilled.

It’s funny how things happen for a reason. We had interviewed a few others for this position but no one clicked. No one was the full package. Then, out of nowhere, when we’ve resigned to hiring someone who isn’t entirely qualified, the perfect candidate falls into our lap.

The week from hell that began with phone calls to the police has ended in peace. It makes you believe in fate. It restores your faith in the goodness of it all. I might be tainted because I work in politics, but you know what? We’re trying to help people. And I think we’re doing a damned good job.

Sorry for the hardcore Debbie Downer post. The thing about anonymous blogging is that I feel comfortable sharing even THAT. At my old place, those kinds of emotions weren’t appropriate… but new blog, new rules. I say what I need.

Things have gotten better. I pretty much didn’t stop crying from the time my mom left yesterday afternoon until this morning at work. Yes, at work. And no, I’m not even PMSing. I’m just a wreck. Luckily, all the other employees in my office are moms with kids my age so I got momma talk after momma talk after momma talk. And hugs. I seriously needed it. One coworker blamed it on the moon’s position because she’s a hardcore hippie. I love that, though. I think I need to give away my heartache to some celestial being. (I was never comfortable “giving it up to God” or letting “Jesus bear my cross”… they’re dudes, and I don’t think a dude could understand the kind of pain women feel sometimes. It’s more comfortable to blame it on the moon and let things run its course spirtually. Now who’s the hardcore hippie?)

I’m looking forward to an evening of sangria and The West Wing with the boy. On top of the mom situation, there was a bit of a relationship situation that made things even more stressful… but nothing a bottle of sangria and a night of cuddles can’t fix.

Thanks to everyone who commented, tweeted, g-chatted, or emailed me. The internet is quite the support group when you need it and I’m so grateful to have you guys. Thanks for sticking by me even when I’m a seeeeerious Debbie Downer.

For good measure, here’s a quick list of things that made me smile today:

  • Finding the cat curled up on the boy’s blanket on the couch this morning, sleeping. Aw!
  • Accomplishing some scheduling tasks for the boss.
  • Banana cream pie yogurt with homemade granola.
  • That “Chris Brown should get his ass kicked” song on the radio.
  • CUTE PANTS. (I’m in love with the $10 pants I bought at Old Navy this weekend.)
  • The radio’s hysterical mispronunciation of Cubs pitcher/former ND footballer Jeff Samardzjia’s name.
  • Spelling Samardzjia correctly on the first guess.

I felt limited. I felt controlled by a website. I felt watched. When I feel boxed in, I make drastic changes.

In this case, I went underground.

There are two songs that I feel express the contradiction that is WOMAN so supremely. One is Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman” – She takes care of herself, She can wait if she wants, She’s ahead of her time, And she never gives out, And she never gives in, She just changes her mind. The other is Mandy Moore’s “Can’t You Just Adore Her?” She likes chocolate in the morning, She drinks her coffee late at night, You can sense that she is guarded, But that’s alright, She’ll fall asleep while you’re still talking, With unfinished books beside her bed, She’ll cancel all of her appointments, And go shopping instead. She loves to watch the sunset, But she is partial to the rain, With those tears and that umbrella, Her allure goes unexplained… She always has the best intentions, Her goodness is innate.

I changed this blog’s name multiple times, always with lyrics from those two songs… In the end, I’ve settled on “Her Goodness is Innate.” Honestly, I changed the name so many times. But I believe in goodness in everyone, I believe our goodness is, indeed, innate. And I want to be known for innate goodness. I struggle with it. Let my blog be a daily reminder of the goodness I should radiate.

So that’s my blog’s name. Thank you, Mandy. And thank you, blogosphere, for being so fluid as to let me go underground and still feel welcome. I’ll do this blog better. I won’t feel controlled. I won’t get overwhelmed. I’ll blog without obligation. I’ll be limitless.