I’m tired of our bare walls. We moved in last August and the only thing on our walls is a picture of our cat and a Guinness sign!!  So today, I went on an Etsy binge.

For Christmas, the fiance bought this print for me:

It matches our green living room. So I stuck with the green theme and purchased these for the wall above the couch:

(vol25)

(arcanearts)

I purchased these for another wall:

(franticmeerkat)

(ConstantDreamer)

(ConstantDreamer)

And finally, I purchased these two for the dining area:

(John W Golden)

I’m super excited to decorate now!!

That was bad karma leaving the previous entry overnight. And since this is a new blog with new rules, I’m blogging twice in an hour. Suck it.

My hair cut is a-ma-zing.

I love love love watching the planes line up to land at O’Hare on a clear day. My commute is peeeeerrrrrfect for this sort of thing.

The flowers I bought myself for International Women’s Day are still blooming. The leaves are wilting but the flowers look fabulous.

Tomorrow is the first day of SPRING!

I work with some pretty amazing people. They break up the monotony.

I grew balls on the phone today and told an angry person that I didn’t appreciate his tone, have a nice day, goodbye. Yay! Big step for me!

I’m getting married in less than five months. And? I’m marrying an amazing and patient man who never ceases to make me smile.

Our wedding registry is the most eclectic, bizarro, unique-to-us list of fabulousness, in my humble opinion.

I’m so grateful for what I have. In this time of nationwide economic hardship, the fiance and I are doing alright for ourselves. I can get that salon haircut,  I can grab a cup of chai on my way to work if I’m not in the mood for my coffee at home, we can buy that Wii game, we can plan on season tickets for Six Flags. We’re doing alright and not a day goes by that I don’t thank whatever or whoever is overseeing the innate goodness of it all.

Has someone close to you ever withheld some potentially scary information until it was resolved? For instance, when I was in Italy, my dad was being tested for prostate cancer… and I had NO idea. You know, not until he told me everything was okay when he visited me in Rome. On top of feeling so PHYSICALLY far from home that semester, I felt out of the loop, I felt far from my family. I mean, I didn’t even know my dad was having some wonky test results and could have had cancer!
Today my mom sent me an email: “Call me when you get home from work.” She and I hadn’t talked in over a week, which is REALLY unusual. I just figured she was busy, I was busy, blah blah blah. I called her on my drive home… she informed me that she had had a questionable mammogram last week, went in for a few more tests, was told she had nodules, spoke to a radiologist, and PHEW, JUST KIDDING, no breast cancer.

Am I wrong for feeling …off about these situations? Would I want to know right of the bat if something is wrong? Would I want to worry, lose sleep, lose concentration? Probably not… but I want to know when my parents are dealing with shit, you know? Cancer isn’t anything to sneeze at.

Now both my parents have to go in for regular check ups on their respective organs just to make sure. I think my dad takes some meds, but he doesn’t talk about it… he’s sort of awkward discussing his prostate health with his daughter. Understood.

And on top of that, I had a hair appointment tonight. I finally found a salon out here and made an appt. My stylist was super duper sweet and I highly recommend the place. Aveda always does a great job. But I realized something — I left the salon giddy as a school girl… not just because I got my hair cut but also because I had just spent an hour chatting it up with a girl MY AGE. Someone who relates to me! Someone who doesn’t judge when I begin sentences with “OMG!” Someone who gushes about wedding details! Someone who understands streaky self tanner! Granted, I’m sort of paying her to be my fake friend… but it’s incredible to realize how much I crave FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP my age. The fiance is all sorts of wonderful and I LOVE HIM TO PIECES but I miss my girls. I miss giggling, smack talking, gossiping, and being girly. So maybe I tipped the stylist more than I would have just because I enjoyed the conversation. And yeah, that makes me feel off, too.

Last but not least, I feel really really off when the fiance is playing Mario Kart next to me, yells about Peach being in first, asks me how to avoid red shells, and I snap back, “Honey, I don’t care, I’m writing.” Now I feel awful because I snapped at him and all I’m doing is updating my stupid blog.

I think it’s my bed time. What happened to staying up til 2am, stumbling to 10am class, napping in the afternoon, dragging myself to an evening class, and staying up til 2 again? College, I miss you hard right now.

I swear, if I write another pity party post, I’m going to start yet another new blog. This shit has GOT to stop. I promise my life isn’t all gloom and doom… but snapping at the fiance really brought me down. Sigh. When I’m super happy though, I just don’t have time to sit down and blog… I want to be in the moment. I owe it to myself because those bright, shiny moments always seem to happen on borrowed time.

I feel like putting lotion on after a shower is supposed to be an incredibly sexy act. However, I do not let the fiance see this act because I’m certain I am the antithesis of sexy when I do it.

I had an adventurous day. I got up ridiculously early in order to get to work 50+ miles south of where I live. After a trip to Starbucks, that’s no big deal. After our little event down there, I decided I wanted to go to an adorable little stationery place in Oak Park to pick up wedding invitation supplies! (Miss Melissa sent me the website months ago and I’ve been obsessed since.) Here’s the thing… the last time I was in Oak Park was when I had surgery at Shriners Children’s Hospital. And for most of my Oak Park visit, I was under the influence of Vicadin and Valium. I don’t quite remember it. Being a suburbanite, I figured it was just another suburb. Oh no, my pretties, Oak Park is pretty much Chicago. As many of you know, driving in congested areas like Chicago is NOT my thing. I’m okay with my 40-something mile commute on an open freeway. I’m NOT okay with bumper to bumper, people getting out of their cars to yell at other drivers, parallel parking, watch out for pedestrians! kind of driving. No thank you. But, despite being caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella in my business attire, I made it in and out alive AND I bought the base cards and RSVP cards for our invitations!

I came home, fell asleep on the couch while watching a marathon of a crazy UFO show on the History Channel, dreamed about UFOs, woke up to a UFO investigation in the area of my office, freaked out, and am now contemplating raiding my freezer for ice cream.

So yes, today was adventurous. But it made me realize some things. (Here come more bullet points but not quite as sucky as last time.)

  • My new car is awesome. I drove it 150 miles today and it didn’t complain once. Also, it gets AWESOME gas mileage.
  • That said, my car looks like it belongs to a Real! Professional! today.  I have so much work stuff thrown around… file folders, newspapers, Google map directions, legal pads, business cards, a big ol’ poster, and my leatherbound notebook. Also? Multiple empty coffee cups tossed into the backseat.
  • I’m so ready for spring. Had I not been wearing a dress and a new coat today, I wouldn’t have hated getting caught outside in a thunderstorm with my car parked six blocks away. It felt so essentially springish.
  • Our wedding invitations are going to be unique. Each one will be a different combination of colors. I’m pretty much super excited about them! Now we just have to decide on a ceremony location so I can get started on them!
  • I am truly a suburbanite at heart. I thought Oak Park, though charming, was frantic. And the area around it? Not so pretty. Of course I’d love to live amongst cute hipster shops and Frank Lloyd Wright architecture. Of course I’d like to be a quick El ride away from downtown. Of course I’d love to live close enough to Shriners Children’s Hospital that I could walk over and volunteer. Of course I miss the smell of the big city and the sound of traffic and obnoxious rose vendors (or is that just in Rome?). But the pace is just not my bag. I felt stressed, on edge, and frantic. Once I got back into the suburbs, it was a breath of fresh air. Here we have big box stores next to the cute specialty stores. Yes, we have to drive everywhere but that’s okay because the roads aren’t bumper-to-bumper. And, if I didn’t want to take the Metra into the city, I could always drive to O’Hare and hop the blue line in. I’ve always been kinda sad that the boy and I didn’t end up in a fun young neighborhood in the city… but I’m so happy where we are… a comfortable apartment, a long but mostly traffic-less commute, a quiet neighborhood, and all the conveniences of a shopping Mecca. I think it’s where we’re supposed to be. We’re old souls so it works for us.
  • That was a loooong bullet point.

What’s your latest adventure?

  • Today I was called a cunt on the phone. The dreaded C word. I don’t like to use it but I do on occasion. But I DO NOT TOLERATE IT being used towards me (or towards my boss, as the case may have been). And I especially don’t tolerate it when you’re calling to bitch that we sent you a response to the previous time you called to bitch. We sent you a response, dude! You should be elated that your elected official sent you a response!  Or, if you’re not elated, at least don’t call us cunts.
  • Hopefully the whole Rihanna/Chris Brown debacle will actually shed light to the cycle of domestic violence. It can take women up to 7 or 8 times of being abused within an inch of their lives before they get the courage to leave. Don’t blame Rihanna. She CAN’T help it. She can’t see that she’s in a bad situation. Hopefully Chris Brown will be locked up and never comes out.
  • Hopefully the news will stop calling the aforementioned situation “The Rihanna Attack.” DON’T take Chris Brown out of the picture. HE is the issue.
  • My cat smells funny. And he’s staring at me weird. I think he read my blog because he just put his paw over his face to cover his eyes. CUTENESS. He’s gotten so human-like lately. And I’ve turned into a cat lady. Ugh.
  • This post sucks. I am too burnt out by work and life to blog anymore. I tried. I suck.

Hey, rut, is that you? Nice to see you again. Let’s have wine.

…I told myself I’d do Wii fit tonight… but after this episode of The Office is 30 Rock and ER and then it’s bedtime. Shit.

Edited to add:  I can’t believe I published this post as is. How obnoxious. I just feel like I gave so much of myself and made such a presence in the blogosphere and then dropped out of sight. I owe it to you all and I owe it to myself to maintain blogging integrity.  (But seriously, my cat SMELLS, what IS that?!)

I think if I lived alone and was single, I would be in this funk always. I would live a plain jane boring sad depressed life. See, the boy is out of town until Sunday and I’m just blah. I’ve always craved companionship but I guess I never realize how much I need someone around for interaction at the very least. I need someone to vent to, to veg with, to laugh at the TV with, to throw my thoughts at, to have dinner with… I mean, this yelling at the cat and eating cereal for dinner just doesn’t cut it.

This weekend I’ll aim for a cheerful, substantive post… one that doesn’t talk about cat smells or uses excessive offensive language. Capice?