1. Don’t lose your iPhone.

2. If you lose your iPhone, do it in a cooler way than just missing your pocket in line at Six Flags.

3. If you tell people you lost your iPhone at Six Flags, they’ll assume you did so on a roller coaster.

4. Don’t tell people you just dropped it. A roller coaster is way cooler.

5. Don’t be surprised when it costs double what you initially paid to replace it.

That’s right, kids. I lost my iPhone because I missed my pocket. I wore a fleece to Six Flags that has an inside zipper pocket, perfect for money, credit cards, or iPhones. However, I was checking to see if there is an Applebee’s by Six Flags for dinner via my iPhone’s Google maps application… and I must have missed the pocket inside my fleece. It must have been in my coat and dropped out as I entered, exited, or flew around on the American Eagle roller coaster. (How appropriate that I lose my iPhone named Michelle Obama on or around a coaster named American Eagle.) Last coaster of the day… and it wasn’t even that good. We exited the park, headed to where we thought Applebee’s was… got a bit turned around but -that’s okay!- I have an iPhone with GPS!

Shit.

No I don’t.

We went back to the park and retraced our steps. False hope. I was hungry, tired, and bummed. I needed a drink. We never found Applebee’s, either. That is, until we sat down at Max & Erma’s and could see the Applebee’s sign across the street. Max & Erma’s was running a special on amaretto sours so you know what? It’s a good thing we went there. That was exactly what I needed.

This morning, I went to the AT&T store. Here’s the kicker. Apparently, the $199 price of the 8 gig iPhone is only an introductory price, subsidized for a first time buyer. If you lose that particular $199 phone, in order to replace it you have to pay the actual price — $399.

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. $400 for a freaking cell phone??!!!

…but it’s my lifeline. We don’t have a landline. And I am in the car for over two hours every day. I work in a sketchy city. My job depends on me being tethered. I need my phone and I need internet access. And luckily, with an iPhone, all my contacts and data are backed up on my computer… that’s ALMOST worth the pricetag.
Almost.

I sucked it up and paid it… with 10% sales tax. It was my own damned fault for being an idiot.

And I’m naming this one Sasha Obama.

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